Four Months.

Here we are. Another day, another month. Julia turned 16 weeks on Monday and I think it's about time I start referring to her life in terms of months, rather than weeks. So four months it is.

For the first time in this journey with Julia, she actually feels her age. Her cry has changed, her voice has changed, her daily routine has changed, and physically she is so much a four month old. She no longer has that newborn squeal at the end of her cries and her head no longer carries that newborn smell of heaven. But with those losses we have gained SO much more.

I admit that I never read any baby books. A girlfriend lent me a book on nursing and I read through some of those pages in the days leading up to delivery to occupy my mind and to act like I knew a thing or two when the time arrived, but I'll admit that never once in our journey together have I referenced it. That being said, I know the milestones that we should be reaching on a week-to-week basis from my work at the pediatric clinic. As these milestones come and Julia conquers them, I still always find myself being surprised and so incredibly excited for her. As I've said before, there is nothing that makes my heart more happy than seeing Julia thrive and enjoying her small discoveries. I've watched Julia go from flailing her arms out of control, to discovering her hands, to reaching and grabbing for things, to putting everything into her mouth. It's exactly what all those baby books say your baby is supposed to do and word-for-word what your pediatrician tells you to expect in the coming months, but I am still so surprised to actually witness it happening.

Tummy time is getting better. I was a little worried that my baby, who hated and screamed and buried her face in the blanket during tummy time wouldn't learn to roll over, hold her neck steady or crawl. While I know that some babies LOVE tummy time I really didn't start to worry about this until a couple of weeks ago - during the holidays when everybody seemed to notice that Julia wasn't enjoying time on her tummy. I let it go for a couple of weeks (bad mommy) and figured that we'd work on it some more when things calmed down and we were back home. We really focused on tummy time this week as Julia's little buddy, Amaar, is way ahead of her in this department. I put her on her tummy Monday morning, and to my dismay, the girl let out a big smile. By Tuesday we were giggling and since then we've rolled over numerous times. It's like the new miracle fix for when she's fussy. Tummy time = Happy Time. I'll take it!

The most memorable moment of this past month came on New Years Day. I had just given Julia a bath and she was laying on my bed at my parent's house. My mom was putting lotion on and dressing her for me so that I could have a few minutes of "me" time. I was getting ready to shower when I heard these loud and animated noises coming from Jules. It was like someone had turned a switch on for Julia's voice. I walked towards my mom and listened as Julia totally expressed her life story. It was exciting and fun as she found her voice and discovered the different sounds she could do on her own. Since then she hasn't stopped. She's talking in her sleep, she makes noises when she is eating, she talks to Amaar, she coos in her car seat, etc. It's amazing how her voice can fill the house - and I'm sure there is no stopping her now. It's louder and louder from here on out!

We still are not sleeping through the night yet, but I am okay with that. Julia gives me a really nice six hour stretch, and if we time it right, she'll give me a nice nap when we get home in the evenings. We are still exclusively nursing and both of us seem to be happy with it and are not planning on starting solids for a few more weeks. Solids is a whole new adventure - one that will be exciting. I just don't think we are quite ready for it yet!

This past month was busy - Alex finished his 2nd to last semester of law school, we celebrated the holidays, drove all over the state of Iowa, introduced Julia to SO many new people, came down with strep and then got healthy again, celebrated the life and death of Great-grandpa Jerry, and spent time relaxing as just a family of three. It was exhausting, rejuvenating and so incredibly fun all at the same time. 

While I always thought I would want Julia to stay my teeny newborn forever, I find that I really am loving each stage more than the last. Newborn snuggles are wonderful and so relaxing in those sleepless first weeks, but nothing is better than walking into a room and having Julia show the excitement and recognition that I am her mom or that she loves me. It gets me every single time. Her personality is huge and she constantly has me in smiles all day long. 

Overall, life with Julia continues to be a really exciting and wild ride. It's surprising, exhausting, and SO happy all the time. The highest highs are so good and even our lowest lows still have an abundance of sunshine. Lucky, we may be. Blessed, we definitely are. For whatever reason we were handed this beautiful and perfect little girl, we could not be more thankful. The love is deep. The happy moments are so happy. And we love her more than we ever thought possible.

Xo,

KBG